All posts by : Lawyers With Purpose

Overwhelm is in the air. Seems most of our  attorney clients are creating/experiencing some form of overwhelm here in Mid-January. We want to start with stating that overwhelm is a state of mind and a way of being. It is NOT a set of circumstances. It is resistance to what is. The DISTINCT difference of how to STOP overwelm is what you are willing to do about it and how to take responsibility for your part in it. Here are 3 tips to help you out.

1. Don’t Ask…Present! Think about it… Lets say for example you are asking your boss, the business owner, for a raise, you want to speak his language, right? You want to put it in terms that make sense to him. Well, let’s consider how he gets paid. Ultimately, he puts dollars in his pocket from getting clients to hire him. Now, to obtain this money, he doesn’t ask clients to hire him… he has to make a presentation of your company’s services and conclude it with the price it will cost the client to have these services. 

So often we forget that we, as employees, should treat our bosses as we treat our clients. We would never show our worst side to our clients. We make the extra effort to make sure things are presented and prepared well for them. We should do the same for our bosses. Often, when working in a small business, things are casual and you work closely with your boss, which is great, but it can allow us to get too comfortable, or even sloppy, in our presentation to our boss. It’s not that you can’t be comfortable or even have a friendship with your boss, but you should always make sure you are presenting yourself as a valuable resource. Make sure they have facts about the results you produce–tracking reports, sales numbers, clients billed, and so forth. This is never more important than when you are making a presentation for a raise.

So, when you feel it’s time to discuss a raise, schedule a meeting and prepare a presentation. Never bring personal issues into the conversation (i.e., personal financial struggles, the cost of childcare or tuition, your divorce, etc.) Again, working in a small office can lend an aura of intimacy that sometimes just isn’t appropriate in certain conversations, like asking for a raise. It’s often hard to draw a line between “what goes” and “what doesn’t,” but you should be able to tell by instinct and by reading your boss’s personality. So, discussing personal issues with your boss depends on your relationship. However, even if you do talk about these things, they don’t belong in this discussion about a raise. You should never request or receive a raise based on personal need. You should request and receive a raise based on your value to the company.

2.There’s a Time and a Place. Nothing can hijack a conversation more than the wrong time or place. In an already potentially awkward conversation, eliminate distractions and disruptions that can make you lose control of the setting. Carving out quality time to present your proposal is a slippery slope. This doesn’t have to be a desperate thing. Don’t grab any 10 free minutes your boss might have. That would result in bad timing, lack of his attention, and usually a “let me think about it and get back to you” answer because there isn’t enough time to work it through together.

3. Getting Down to It. So, now you’re here for the meeting. Your boss is paying attention, and it’s Show Time!

First, always thank your boss: “Thank you for taking time out of your schedule to meet with me today. I appreciate it.”

Next, acknowledge him. “I know you have a lot to do, so I’ll keep our time commitment and make sure we stay on track.”

Then, get to it. “I’d like to go over with you where I’ve grown over the past and share the value I have produced and talk about where I would like to grow over the next year. I want to make sure it’s in line with what you need from me and that you see how I can support you and the firm more. And I’d like to talk about how to value the role I currently play in the firm. I have some ideas I’d like to share with you.”

Usually, a boss is more than willing to listen to your suggestions and give feedback, and prefers this to having to come up with all the ideas himself. And usually you end up with a decision closer to what you ultimately wanted if you initiate the ideas!

Now, there’s a dangerous pause where you can lose control of the meeting. Let your boss reply, but don’t let him start throwing out ideas and thoughts. Go over what you have prepared before you start brainstorming about the future. So, if your boss starts to toss around ideas, politely interject:

“Great, let me jot down what you said so we don’t forget that idea, and if I could, let me run through what I’ve accomplished over the past (time frame since last raise). I found it very interesting when I reviewed it, and I think it will help us see what I am capable of in the future as well.”

See how we just “spun” this from being a laundry list of things you have done to an essential part of the “future idea” process? It’s much more engaging for a business owner.

So, are you willing to let some things go and acknowledge your full plate and schedule? Can you find a peaceful center when dealing with things that normally seduce you into worrying? Can you find the right question to ask yourself? Tony Robbins recommends these questions when faced with a big problem:

1. What is not perfect yet?
3. What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
4. What am I willing to no longer do to make it the way I want it?
5. How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it?

The idea is to focus on solution rather than the problem itself.

Overwhelm is in the air. And now is the time to embrace the reality that you CAN stop overwhelm dead in its tracks if  you are willing acknowledge it, take responsibility for your part in it and recreate your interaction with it.

Molly Hall co-author of — Don’t Be a Yes Chick!

Over the last several months, everyone was waiting with anticipation as to what Congress and the President would do about the expiring estate tax exemption. We know now that they made the enhanced estate tax exemption of $5.21 million permanent and attached to it an inflation rider for inflation adjustments.

This is great news for IPUG™ planners. IPUG™ (irrevocable pure grantor trusts) (IPUG™) trusts are a strategic asset protection trust that allows individuals to protect their assets without having to give up control and allows them to maintain many benefits from them. An IPUG™ trust is an irrevocable trust where the grantor remains trustee with the power of appointment.

An irrevocable pure grantor trust allows the grantor to remain in control and change the beneficiaries or the investments in any manner he deems appropriate during his lifetime. These trusts have become extensively popular for middle-aged and elder Americans who want to protect their assets from the government, lawsuits, and nursing homes. The new expanded estate tax exemption just over $5 million ensures that these trusts can be utilized by 99.5 percent of Americans. Only one-half of 1 percent of Americans have an estate over $5 million.

Further, couples with up to $10 million can utilize these trusts. Since the grantor maintains sufficient powers, no separate tax returns are required and it's included in their taxable estate but since inclusion in their estate provides for a step-up in tax base, this actually provides an extended benefit to users. The permanent extension now expands the application of these strategic trusts to essentially the entire estate planning marketplace.

For more information on IPUG™ trust planning, you can read my law review article on irrevocable pure grantor trusts at Syracuse University College of Law.

Veterans and Widows of Veterans can obtain tax free income to help pay for unreimbursed medical expenses through a program called Improved Pension, often referred to as Aid and Attendance. The question often arises as to if a person is a widow. Usually this is in the context of when the Veteran and the spouse were divorced or separated. If the couple was divorced, then they are considered EX-spouses, not widows. But what about separated? Or, what if the divorce was set aside?

The initial criteria to establish widow status is that the Veteran and the spouse:

(1) had a valid marriage (not to include same-sex marriages that are legally recognized),
(2) were married for at least one year prior to the Veteran’s death, and
(3) were continuously cohabitating when the veteran died.

As with any law, there are exceptions to the law. With regard to being married at the time of death, there is a possibility that a divorce can be set aside or vacated after the Veteran died. If so, the VA Regional Counsel, upon review of all relevant documents, such as the court decree that set aside the divorce, can determine that the decree setting aside the divorce is a valid means that the claimant was the legal surviving spouse of the Veteran.

But, the issue of continuous cohabitation must still be established. Continuous cohabitation sounds like the Veteran and the spouse must have lived in the same place, without separation, until the Veteran’s death. For most couples, that is the case. However, there are acceptable exceptions.

The couple may be separated and living apart if the separation is due to:

(1) medical reasons,
(2) marital discord wherein the surviving spouse was not materially at fault in the separation, or they
(3) lived apart for other reasons that do not show an intent on the part of the surviving spouse to desert the Veteran.

When in doubt, seek counsel from an attorney who is accredited by the Veterans Administration. VA benefits can be instrumentally helpful, but navigating the system can be daunting. Attorney Members of Lawyers with Purpose, LLC receive continuous education about how to assist Veterans and their Families.

Written by Victoria L. Collier, CELA and Co-Founder of Lawyers with Purpose