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What LWP Tri-Annual Retreat Attendees Are Getting Today

Today is Day 3 of the Lawyers With Purpose Members Tri-Annual Retreat.  We have the priviledge of guest speaker Christine Kane speaking and we want to share with you a little sneak peek of her agenda for the day. 

Becoming-360-11x17-FINALIt actually shows very little of what's actually going to happen in the room.  Estate Planning Attorneys nationally, together with their teams talking about growing personally and professionally.  Transforming themselves and their team.  It's just a little peek of the agenda from 10-2:30 but they've all been together for almost 3 full days!  

  • Why do we set goals? Why don't we achieve them?  Limiting beliefs, etc.
  • Breaking limiting patterns
    • Aspiration (motivation/goal/dream)
    • Awareness
    • Action (mindset and energy included)
      • You can’t run away from yourself! 
  • What’s in the way of your goals?
  • Exercise
  • Set your goal – pick your number $ for the year or 3 years
    • Describe your environment – 3 words
    • Describe your time – 5 core activities you spend bulk of time doing
    • Doing things outside of what you’re being called to do costs energy
    • The more you start doing things you’re good at, the more money you’ll make (hiring people to take the chores off you)
  • Partner up, share your vision.
    • Name the vision
  • Camp Scarcity (fear): not enough, loss, competition, limits, well is dry, constriction/contraction, not deserving, hard, cold, alone, isolated, familiar, struggle, envy, martyr, victim, guilt, judgment, perfectionism, greed, lust, experiences deplete us
  • Planet Abundance: in the flow, effortless, ease, clarity, creative, innovative, community, collaboration, gratitude, love, appreciation, joy, happiness, presence, compassion
  • Worksheet prep (Becoming 360)
    • 10 areas of work and life, in terms of your dream
    • 5 core beliefs of the person you want to become
    • Rate truth – never, fairly, sometimes, always
    • Partner, share your 5 beliefs and rating
  • Create one affirmation statement for one of these beliefs
  • Create one action step that locks in the affirmation
  • Recurring thoughts, positive and negative
  • Write 5 beneficial recurring thoughts in journal
    • Rate truth – never, fairly, sometimes, always
  • Partner, share the beliefs and rating
  • Create one action step for these recurring thoughts
  • Worksheet
    • Fill in sections 1-2, “Becoming 360”
  • Daily activities (present)
  • WWOD – What Would Oprah Do? 
    • Are your daily activities in line with the vision you?  What can you offload?
  • Cross off anything on list that your vision self would no longer do
    • Start small if you need to, major drains
    • There is no recipe or formula, it’s your own experience
    • Protect your confidence, cross off anything negative
  • Partner up, share list and what’s going away
    • Create one action step for worksheet
    • Tell Me Later and Text Minder – apps for future reminders
    • Task Rabbit or Angie’s List to find help
  • Habits
  • Recurring patterns vs. activities
  • Partner; share new habit you will implement for next 90 days to bring this vision
    • Health & Energy
  • Holistic model, don’t compartmentalize – business and health are interrelated
  • 3-5 places in health (mental, mindset, physical, etc.) that are draining you
  • Action step: 1 thing you can do to begin process of healing what’s draining you.  Something do-able.  Set the intention to see what can open up – be open to miracles.
  • Partner, share your action.
    • Environment
    • What can you clean up?
  • Partner and share who you’ll have on your team
    • Products & Offers
  • What needs to change to get you to your income goal?
  • Books leading into program (create back-end first)
  • 3 things your vision self offers, and how they’re priced
  • Stand and partner, share
  • Free Time
  • Schedule your time
  • How often does your vision self take vacation?
  • What does free time look like?
  • Partner – current free time, one action step to boost it this year
    • Best Relationships
  • 5 common, important traits of the people your vision self most spends time with
  • 5 people you currently hang out with the most
  • How do these 5 people measure up to the 5 vision traits?  Do these people serve you?
  • Action step to build better, more supportive relationships

You don't want to miss Pheonix in October.  Block October 22nd – 24th on your calendar now and join in the conversation if you weren't able to make it this time.  I can't wait to hop on my implementation calls next week and hear what the members came up with for their firm Money Plan and Becoming 360!

Roslyn Drotar – Coaching, Consulting & Implementation, Lawyers With Purpose

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Start Where You Are

Sounds pretty obvious, doesn’t it? But how often do we really give ourselves that gift? How often do we stop and tell ourselves, wherever we’re headed, this is where we start? It means being willing to let go of the past. It means resisting the need to race ahead.  It means controlling the stories of why we can’t get started.

Bigstock-Athletes-At-The-Sprint-Start-L-58880123It may be creating a marketing plan when you only have $500 a month to realistically dedicate to the project. It may be finally firing that employee who “knows everything” when you don’t have the rehire in place. It may be making the unyielding commitment to hardwire five hours into your calendar for marketing when you have to answer the phones, draft trusts and greet clients who arrive 20 minutes early so they can tell you all about their grandbabies.

Sometimes the simplest truths are the most slippery. We convince ourselves that it “isn’t that bad” or that we might be “overreacting” or have “unrelenting standards.” These are all especially true if you lead with responsibility and/or harmony on the strength-finder assessment. But if we simply allow ourselves to start from where we are today, that is often more than enough.

Last week I was working with a firm, and the focus of our Coaching, Consulting & Implementation (CC&I) call was “getting the right people in the right roles.” They had just hired two new people within the past four weeks and had let go of a “lifer” employee. They were trying to train the two new hires for the role of “Legal Assistant,” i.e.  “please do it all and take the pain and pressure away.”  The attorney went into explaining about how the firm can't do Y until X and when A is up and running they can implement B. I listened intently to the mental download and then started with “I've got all that.  But we are here and let’s start from exactly where we are. Because in my experience, the have, do, be method never works out to your advantage. (When we have A, then we can do B so we can be the law firm I have always envisioned.) That's because I have never met a firm that woke up one day and all the missing pieces were finally in place (i.e., people, time and money). We’re going to take a different approach.”

The approach of starting where you are:  It allows you to originate from a clean slate so you can get to the root and cultivate a deeper understanding of what you need, right here, right now!  It gets to the heart of the matter – which eliminates all opportunities to create a bigger-than-necessary project. The approach of start where you are allows for one small step at a time. This may sound hokey, but this approach allows us to get down and dirty and take a look at our distractions – the things that tend to get between you and your optimal success.

We'll see you next week at the Members Tri Annual Retreat in Chicago and begin working on your next quarter Money Plan (and yes, we'll be starting right where you are).  In which areas of your practice do you need to start where you are?

Molly L. Hall, Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose, LLC, and author of Don’t Be a Yes Chick: How to Stop Babysitting Your Boss, Transform Your Job and Work with a Dream Team Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Spirit in the Process.

 

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Elder Justice Act – Federal Initiatives

On March 23, 2010, the Elder Justice Act (“EJA”) was signed into law by President Obama as part of the Affordable Care Act (a/k/a “Obamacare”).  See Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, Pub. L. 111-148 (2010), as amended by the Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act, Pub. L. 111-152 (2010), collectively referred to as the Affordable Care Act.  The EJA creates a new Subtitle H to Title XX of the Social Security Act, largely codified at 42 U.S.C. § 1397j to § 1397m.  The EJA is the first comprehensive national legislation directed at elder abuse. 

The EJA is a four-pronged initiative intended to accomplish the following.

a.             Enhance national coordination of elder justice activities and research.

b.             Establish forensic centers to develop expertise and jurisprudence in elder                 abuse, neglect, and exploitation.

c.             Strengthen adult protective services.

d.             Enhance the capacity of long-term care settings to prevent and respond to elder                 abuse, neglect, and exploitation.  See Brian W. Lindberg, Charles P. Sabatino,                 Esq. and Robert B. Blancato, Bringing National Action to a National Disgrace:                 The History of the Elder Justice Act, NAELA Journal, Vol. VII, No. 1, Spring 2011, 105, at 115.

Bigstock-Old-Hand-Care-Elderly-7749577Elder Justice Coordinating Council

In recognition of the importance of coordinating the many federal, state, and local agencies and entities with jurisdiction over myriad aspects of elder abuse, neglect, and exploitation, Section 2021 of the EJA establishes the Elder Justice Coordinating Council (“EJCC”).  See Sections 2021 to 2024 of the EJA, 42 U.S.C. § 1397k.  The EJCC is required to make recommendations to the Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services every two years to report on the coordination of elder justice activities by relevant federal agencies, and to report to Congress on accomplishments, challenges and recommendations for legislative action.  Current members of the EJCC include the following.

a.              Secretary, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

b.              Attorney General, U.S. Department of Justice.

c.              Director, Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

d.              CEO, Corporation for National & Community Service.

e.              Secretary, Department of Housing and Urban Development.

f.               Secretary, Department of Labor.

g.              Secretary, Department of the Treasury.

h.             Secretary, Department of Veterans Affairs.

i.               Office of the Chairman, Federal Trade Commission.

j.               Chief Postal Inspector, Postal Inspection Service.

k.              Commissioner, Social Security Administration.

The EJCC held its inaugural meeting in October 2012, followed by two sessions in May and September of 2013.  For further information regarding the current EJCC initiatives, proposals and numerous “white papers” on the issues, click here

On my next blog post, I'll address the use of a multi-disciplinary team of allied professionals to help combat Elder Financial Abuse.

Kristen M. Lewis, Esq., Member of the Special Needs Alliance and Fellow of the American College of Trust and Estate Counsel.

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Congratulations To Michael Cohen, LWP Member Of The Month

What is the greatest success you’ve had since joining LWP? 

I have been able shift my practice from being primarily “crisis” planning to planning that is more encompassing with more options than I what I previously was aware. We now tell potential clients that we are “Baskin-Robbins” – you just tell us what flavor you like, and we will design your plan to meet your flavor.  I also see LWP as a way to approach the practice more like a business (i.e. with focusers, steadier cash flow, etc.).

Mike Cohen-PictureWhat is your favorite LWP tool?

Although I mentioned the focusers in my answer above, my favorite tool (if you can call it a” tool” ) is having monthly workshops.  As LWP members know, the  “stories” in the workshop simplify the complex area of planning and allow us to help so many more people (and I can leverage my time even if an attendee doesn’t become a client) in addition to an increase in bottom line. In addition, the workshop design allows us to have fun (with my personal stamp or story) with prospective clients while showing them our knowledge and their need to take care of the ones they love.

How has being part of LWP impacted your team and your practice? 

First, LWP has increased communications in our office. Second, although we are small, our “team” has grown as a result of LWP. Third, the focus of our practice has changed as indicated in my answer to no. 1 above. Fourth, I have expanded my horizon in legal-technical knowledge. Finally, I see a roadmap for a journey that  (although I am not sure where it will end or what weather lies before me) I expect to have a rainbow at the end.  A special thanks to Molly for keeping us on the right path.

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Becoming 360 With Christine Kane of UpLevel You

We've had some phenominal ~ and passionate ~ conversations about the content we want to bring to the members at the retreat.  Meet Christine Kane of UpLevel You who will be sharing her "Becoming 360" on Day 3 of the members only Tri-Annual Retreat in Chicago – June 11-13th, just two weeks from now! What is "Becoming 360" you ask??? 

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 and a more compassionate (and passionate!) perspective on you, your life, your future, and how you want to design your success.

In Becoming 360.  You’ll dive deeper into your goals, your purpose and your WHY. 

You’ll understand and celebrate the real reason we set goals at all.

HINT:  It’s NOT about the achievement.  It’s about WHO WE BECOME as we get there.

The day will be devoted to that process of setting the goal, and then examining – through conversation, clarity work and training – the 10 areas of your life that drive (or drain) your energy, and who you must BECOME in order to reach and manifest the goals you set.

This is the path of the leader and the entrepreneur.  And it gives greater meaning and clarity to our work, our surroundings, our desires, and our relationships.

The LWP team can’t wait to do this work with you!  Safe travels and we'll be seeing you all in the Windy City! There are still just a few seats left so if you're interested in attending the Tri-Annual Retreat, pick up the phone and reach out to Angela (acrowther@lawywerswithpurpose.com) TODAY don't wait!

Roslyn Drotar, Coaching, Consulting & Implementation, Lawyers With Purpose

 

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Compassion Fatigue

“You have a clean slate every day you wake up. You have a chance every single morning to make that change and be the person you want to be. You just have to decide to do it. Decide today’s the day. Say it; this is going to be my day.” ~ Brendon Burchard


The emotional, physical and financial needs of our world can be undoubtedly overwhelming. As we become more and more comfortable with the vision, design and signing meetings, we then begin to move fully into and embrace the counseling side of serving in the estate and elder law industry. With this comes the journey of compassion:

  1. We will feel for people in pain – even people we don’t know personally.
  2. We will want people to be encouraged and hopeful – even people we don’t know personally.
  3. We will seek to help people practically – even people we don’t know personally.

Bigstock-Man-pushing-a-boulder-on-a-mou-56958671Beyond the "conference room," you will begin to find that you are naturally feeling this and wanting to do it. Once you gain knowledge in the tools, competency in the legal technical and confidence in your team, you will begin to lead and guide from a place of compassion. And this is how you attract people to your office, without even trying. Your ability to actively listen and solve problems is utterly absent from your competition. And everyone sees it.  So your calendar begins to fill up with potential money appointments:  Initial contacts increase (yay!), vision meetings increase (yay x2!), your hire rate increases (yay x3!).

But if there is not time in your calendar to “empty your backpack” of all compassion – stories, grief, troubles and struggles that you get to solve all day (not to mention the employees waiting at your door in-between all these fantastic meetings) – you will be burdened. Imagine a backpack filled with the heaviest cinderblocks you can imagine. At some point, you have to put the backpack down or else you’ll break your back. That's compassion fatigue.

In an unrelenting world of constant giving and solving, filled with back-to-back appointments and very little breathing space, it eventually becomes impossible to “muscle through” week in and week out. Then we start to see our initial/vision and hire rates decrease because that bountiful compassion has turned into resentment and frustration. And we might tell ourselves, “The lucky streak has ended,” but as humans we are just not conditioned to continue at that pace without operating at a deficit.

We have to refill our tireless giving “compassion account.” When your reserves are in deficit, you can’t truly give.  Here are some quick suggestions for how to refuel your compassion account, “empty your backpack” and let go of all the emotional stuff you picked up throughout the day. This should take no more than five minutes at the end of each day to allow you to hit the ground running the next day with a full account:

  • Get a journal or notebook and keep it at your bedside.
  • At the end of your day, download all the stories you picked up from the day: prospective clients, existing clients, referral sources, client complaints, employee issues, even whatever may have hit you personally at home, because all compassion and heartache are created equal. 
  • Jot down the NAME (Smith case, Sally the receptionist, my son Timmy.)
  • What the story/situation was. Keep it simple and don’t make it into a dissertation. Just brain dump the emotionality of what occurred. This part is important: Connect and dump the emotional compassion that occurred in order for you to truly unload the backpack.
  • What did you provide in regards to coaching, conflict resolution, counseling, etc. to provide value? It is equally important for you to get the WIN in it, to know you were part of holding a safe space for X to have a breakthrough in that moment with the resources you had.
  • Then detach and let it go, and write down, “My job is not to rescue. My expertise in helping X was more than enough for today. I am not responsible for the circumstance, only for coaching the person. This is no longer mine to carry.” 
  • Celebrate the victories and share them with the team.  Acknowledge what you have done as a huge accomplishment.  Give yourself kudos – don’t minimize what you’ve done.
  • Pretend you’re a duck!  When you are in a leadership role – and you are as an entrepreneur and intrapreneur – you will take hits.  You've got to let them roll off your skin, just like a duck lets water roll off its feathers.  Work this muscle until you see the results.
  • Build “pause” time in your calendar to reframe yourself between appointments.  Use that time to do something for yourself, to make deposits into your compassion account.  Doing this will allow you to always “show up” genuine and prepared, with your clients feeling heard and you feeling confident.

You will begin to notice how much compassion was actually turning to clenching for your clients, which is a circumstance that creates undue pressure on us to “deliver.” Yes, you have to deliver on your promises (planning, etc.), but when the delivery becomes all about the person's circumstance vs. about the person, which we all do day in and day out, that blocks the unpacking of the backpack to eliminate the compassion fatigue.

If your interested in joining us in Chicago, book your flights now!  There are still just a few seats left so register today and be in the room to experience what the Practice With Purpose Program is about and what we have to offer.

Molly L. Hall, Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose, LLC, and author of Don’t Be a Yes Chick: How to Stop Babysitting Your Boss, Transform Your Job and Work with a Dream Team Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Spirit in the Process.

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A Day At The Beach: D-Day, June 6, 1944

When I think of a day at the beach, I think of umbrellas, children, swimming, and sunshine.  June 6, 1944 was a very different picture at 6:30 a.m. when the “boys” from the 1st Infantry Division arrived riding Higgins boats on Omaha Beach.  It was overcast and storming.  The aircraft support troops could not fly in as planned to via an air raid, for fear of hitting the landing craft.  The fleet of floating tanks that were expected to be waiting on the beaches, had sunk into the ocean five miles from shore, with only two reaching their destination.

Photo 2In the water, as well as on the sand, the troops encountered deliberately planted obstruction barriers to prevent the boats from reaching shore. The boats did reach the shore, albeit east of their intended landing place due to strong currents.  Many of the men had to wade 50 – 100 yards in water up to their necks, carrying full gear, with guns held overhead, under heavy gunfire.  Once reaching the sand, it was open-fire as the troops tried to make it to the multistory-high cliffs and scale them.  The battle at Omaha beach took six hours before the Allied forces penetrated a gateway to get through, leaving carnage like no other.  The visual I was provided by another was described as “miles of khaki and red” blending the blood with sand.

When I stood there looking out, the beach was quiet and beautiful. The weather was uncharacteristically sunny and warm with clear skies. The only artifacts left are damaged bunkers, grass-grown bomb craters, and the beaches with gorgeous green and blue water flowing in and out. My eyes were trying to see the tankers, ships and soldiers that remained underneath.

My time there was limited, but the memories are forever strong. I could have just turned and left, headed to the next historical site. But I couldn’t. I had to pause and silently say a prayer of honor for those who have served our country in all wars, and for their family members.

The men and women who have experienced war, as well as their families, change after their experiences.  But those who study history in-person, not just in books, are changed too. I have always had an appreciation for my WWII clients. But the level of appreciation has heightened now that I have been able to visit the battle sights 70 years later.

Photo 1 copyDon’t just remember D-Day in years to come, experience it and honor it.  My next article will highlight the interview I had with Judge James Hill, WWII veteran. 

Victoria L. Collier, CELA, Elder Care Attorney, Co-Founder of Lawyers for Wartime Veterans and Lawyers with Purpose, Veteran, author of 47 Secret Veterans Benefits for Seniors and most recent book, Paying for Long Term Care: Financial Help for Wartime Veterans: The VA Aid & Attendance Benefit.  

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Medicaid Planning: The Ins & Outs of MMMNA #5 – Asset Tests

This post continues our Medicaid planning series with a deep dive into MMMNA, or the minimum monthly maintenance needs allowance, which is the minimum income allowance for the community (or well) spouse in a Medicaid claim. We've already covered some of the basics of determining MMMNA for your clients; If you didn't see the previous posts, click on the links to find numbers One, Two, Three and Four.

Bigstock-Solution-563994So, similar to the rules we covered on the individual income allowances, there’s also the asset test. Unlike the income allowances where you’re allowed $60 a month or $80 a month, under the asset test you’re allowed a certain amount of assets. The minimum is $1,500; by federal law they cannot allow you less than $1,500 of assets per month. About 80% of the states go beyond that, allowing $2,000 per month. And in a few states it's even higher. One day New York sent out a notice saying the state was increasing the individual resource allowance to $14,400, which was a windfall for our clients. There are also some states at $5,000 or other amounts, and about a dozen other states are at the $1,500 minimum.

When you see a state that has a $1,500 resource allowance, then you know it's a 239B state. What does that mean? Back in the '70s there was a code section 239B that raised the allowance from $1,500 to $2,000 federally. But some states complained, so under 239B of the statute they allowed the states to opt out of the increase. Remember, federal Medicaid laws allow the states to be less restrictive but not more restrictive. So you would think if a state allows a $1,500 resource allowance when the federal minimum is $2,000, such a state would run afoul of that standard. And you would be correct, unless that state filed an election under section 239B to maintain the $1,500 minimum resource allowance. So if your state’s minimum resource allowance is $1,500, you are a 239B state. It's a term worth knowing because you might hear it at CLEs and events of that nature.

So what about the community spouse? We know the individual can only have $1,500 to $14,400, depending on which state you’re in. The federal government addressed the community spouse question with the 1988 Medicare Catastrophic Coverage Act. The MCCA, attempting to avoid impoverishing community spouses, set a new federal minimum amount that a community spouse has to be allowed to keep. And what is that amount? Much like the federal government did with income limits, it set a minimum maximum and a maximum maximum. And for some reason, the minimum changes every July and the maximum changes every January. Last July the minimum was raised to $23,184, so the states cannot allow a community spouse less than that. If you’re in a max state, then your state will now allow the community spouse $115,920.

And again, similar to the income exercise, if the community spouse’s assets are more than the minimum but less than the maximum, then the community spouse resource allowance (CSRA) will be the amount of the community spouse’s assets. So, for example, if I were to say that a husband had $200,000 of assets and a wife had $10,000 of assets, we would first determine who went into the nursing home. If the husband went into the nursing home, the wife only has $10,000, so she would be able to take $13,184 of the husband’s excess assets and then the rest would have to be used toward his cost of care. If the wife went into the nursing home with her $10,000 of assets and the husband had $200,000, the most that the community spouse could have is $115,920, so the difference between the $115,920 and $200,000 would have to go toward the cost of care.

There are exceptions. We can keep some assets by utilizing some special exemptions. But generally speaking, the rule is very simple. The institutionalized spouse is allowed to have $1,500 to $14,400; the community spouse is allowed a minimum of $23,184 or a maximum of $115,920 if you’re in a range state, and if you’re in a max state the allowance is $115,920.

So now that you've seen how to calculate the CSRA, let's try a few examples. If a couple has $130,000 of total countable assets between the husband and wife at the snap shot date, then how much would the CSRA be? The couple lives in Connecticut, which is a range state. In a range state, how much would the community spouse be allowed to keep? Well, we know that half of $130,000 is $65,000. And according to range state rules, if x is greater than the max, then the CSRA equals the max. If x is less than the minimum, then the CSRA equals the minimum or the assets. If x is greater than the minimum but less than the max, then the CSRA equals x. So in this case, that’s what we would have. Connecticut’s a range state. And because $65,000 is below the maximum of $115,920 but above the minimum of $23,000, then the CSRA in Connecticut would be $65,000.

Now try another example: We’re in Florida, which is a max state. So even though half of the countable assets are $65,000, the CSRA cannot be less than $115,920 in a max state, so that is what the CSRA would be in this example.

How about a case in Kansas where one half of the countable assets come to $8,500? If you're asking yourself whether Kansas is a max state or a range state, well, it really doesn’t matter for this example, does it? The CSRA minimum is $23,184, so the CSRA cannot be more than the amount of assets they have. So in Kansas, which is a range state, the whole $17,000 would be exempt, but the additional $6,184 would also be exempt if that client came into additional assets.

And finally, if I’m in Arizona, which is a max state, I can never have more than the $115,920. So if the couple has $250,000, then half of that still exceeds the max. I can never have less than the minimum or greater than the max. If you’re in the middle, you get the range amount, and in this case you can keep $115,920, because there’s a total of $130,000 assets.

Hopefully these examples help you understand how this works. We will wrap up our MMMNA series with a post on snap shot dates, so check back soon.

A Look at the Pros and Cons of Business Planning with iPug™ Trusts and LLCs

An event not to be missed! On this free webinar we will carefully distinguish the pros and cons of the use of trusts to replace high net worth planning and planning in general for successful business owners and business succession planning using iPugs instead of LLCs.

Here's a sneak peek at what we'll be covering:

  • Planning for Business Owners
  • Planning for Efficient Gifting and Federal Estate Tax Planning
  • Planning for reasons such as…
    • Maintaining Control
    • Promoting Family Unity
    • Protecting Family
    • Wealth from Failed Marriages
    • Managing Family Assets Efficiently
    • Protecting Family Wealth from Creditors

Registration for this live event is FREE … Click here now to reserve your space!

To your success,

Dave Zumpano,
Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose
Practicing Attorney…Just Like You!
Losangeles

Lessons from LA Part 2 – Be Prepared, Persistent & Flexible

A few weeks ago, I discussed my trip to Los Angeles to interview a big name – Betty White – for my TV show, Senior Salute.  The topic of choice was how pets enhance the quality of seniors as they age.  Betty White is a huge animal advocate.  A date was set, then reset, then canceled.

LosangelesWas I frustrated, upset and discouraged?  YES!  But, I decided to take the valuable lessons I learned and celebrate the courage it took to put myself out there and be vulnerable.  How many times a day do you or your employees put yourselves out there?  Each time you meet with a prospective client, meet with a new referral source, learn and implement a new practice area, like Veterans Benefits, have a difficult discussion about office policies with team members, and the list goes on. The fact of the matter is that we do it all day after day. But, we don’t recognize it or celebrate it. Often we only feel the pain of it.

Oh, I felt pain. I spent about $2,000 to fly to LA and stay in a hotel three time zones away.  Leaving my children and out of the office not working for three days.  Waiting for the call and the opportunity. Planning in advance, I purchased tickets to attend the live audience taping of Hot in Cleveland, the award winning show that Betty White stars in weekly. I didn’t want the entire week to be a loss. Because entrance is on a first come first seat basis, I wanted to ensure I got a seat so I showed up to the studio 3 hours early (in full stage make up, still with hopes of interviewing Betty).  I was third in line, certain to get a seat. I was told to speak with the floor manager about getting VIP status so I could do a “meet and greet” with the cast after the filming. She turned me down, twice. Yes, twice. I was persistent. But, I was also polite. After all, I had a gift to give to Betty that I had carefully selected and purchased in Atlanta.

Once I realized I was not getting access, I felt sorry for myself for a moment and let the hurt and embarrassment set in. Then, I looked around and thought, “I can and will have a great night and enjoy the good of it all.”

What I learned, that we can all practice in our offices, is that:

1. When you want something, go for it. Make all preparations to succeed. 

2.  Put yourself out there and be persistent but polite. Know when to sit down and enjoy the show.

3.  Be ready for anything, but also be ready to accept nothing in exchange of your efforts except the gratification that you took action. Not every at-bat is a home run. Sitting on the sidelines (once in a while) is enjoyable too.

4.  Congratulate yourself for the courage it takes to make the decisions you make and take the actions you take.  Many people only dream of things they want, but never take the first step toward achieving them.

5.  Recognize that failure is sometimes the thrust you need to move forward. John C. Maxwell wrote the book, Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes Into Stepping Stones, that is worth a read.

If your marketing efforts or the implementation of Veterans Benefits into your estate planning or elder care law firm are not going as you expected, stop and praise yourself for the efforts you have made so far. Then, review and make some changes toward the result you want.

Victoria L. Collier is a Veteran and Certified Elder Law Attorney, Fellow of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, Co-Founder of Lawyers With Purpose LLC, and author of “47 Secret Veterans’ Benefits for Seniors—Benefits You Have Earned … but Don’t Know About.”

P.S.  I plan to write Betty White a personal letter, sending her the gift I got for her, and asking for an interview directly.  Let’s see what happens!

If you want to come see what Lawyers With Purpose has to offer your estate and elder law practice, please join us in June for 2.5 days full of training on Asset Protection, Medicaid & VA Practice With Purpose program.