High Energy / Low Energy

Day One:  My family walked a mile to school for the fourth day of kindergarten. Since I was going out of town, the hugs were a little longer than usual. Before heading to the airport, I also walked my dog, since it would be his last one for three days. The flight was uneventful. I had rearranged my flight to arrive early so I could visit with my aunt in the hospital, where she is undergoing treatment for a brain tumor. Without treatment, the prognosis is six months to live. With treatment, it is 18 months. During our visit, I had to excuse myself for a very challenging business teleconference. When I returned, my aunt was tired.  I sat on her bed looking into her eyes for probably the last time; both of us were crying. An hour later, I was overlooking the beach while having dinner with a colleague. Then I went to bed.

Day Two:  I awoke early to review my aunt’s financial situation and create a written plan, like I would for any client, to provide to my cousin over breakfast. We discussed ways to initiate difficult conversations. “Are there any specific goals you want to accomplish in the next six to 18 months?” “Is my aunt making choices based on what she wants, or what she believes others want?” “Where would she prefer to die, in a facility or at her home?”

Breakfast lasted right up until it was time for me to give a 45-minute presentation on veterans benefits for over 100 lawyers.  I stepped onto the stage and delivered a strong, fluid speech. Then, I immediately rushed to the airport to catch a flight to New York by way of Georgia, my home state, but I couldn’t stay long enough to see my family. Instead, I spoke with them via Facetime, and my daughter cried because she wanted me to tuck her into bed.  I arrived in New York just in time to slip into bed. Sleep was restless as usual, since I have insomnia.

How many highs and lows do we have throughout a day?  The two back-to back days described above are typical (other than finding out my aunt has a limited time to live).  They are typical for me, for my law office team members and for my clients.  We all go from one emotion to the next, from successes to challenges, from elated to deflated in moments, without taking time to absorb and reflect. Without taking time to celebrate or grieve.  We just stack our emotions on a pile like smashed cars to be recycled.

How does running from one event to the next affect our work product? Our customer service? Our communication and relations with others?  Our profitability and success? 

Negatively.

What can we do? 

First, recognize that you are running through highs and lows. When possible, try to group high-energy events together and low-energy events together. 

Second, pause between events for five minutes and sit with the residual emotions of what you just endured. If it was a success, celebrate – even if just in your mind you smile and say, “I did good.”  Or allow yourself to get upset and release frustration, if necessary, even if just in your mind you scowl and say, “This is not what I intended. I must do better; I cannot let that happen again.” Then clear it away and prepare for the next event, to be completely present and not affected by the prior event.

Third, understand that you are not the only one with days like this. Be there for your team and your clients when they have highs and lows.  Support them.  Your support will enrich your relationships, which in turn will produce better customer service and work product. Lastly, just slow down and be aware.  We see much better when the pace we are traveling is not blurred with speed. 

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Victoria L. Collier, Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose, LLC, www.LawyersWithPurpose.com; Certified Elder Law Attorney through the National Elder Law Foundation; Fellow of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys; Founder and  Managing  Attorney of The Elder & Disability Law Firm of Victoria L. Collier, PC, www.ElderLawGeorgia.com; Co-Founder of Veterans Advocates Group of America; Entrepreneur; Author; and nationally renowned Presenter.